It's Coming

A new album, soon to be available on iTunes. More details coming...

Damn

Stop Being P_____s, America... Vote for Gutsy

Dubstep. Heck Yeah.

Fiskars FAIL

I bought a pair of scissors at Walmart.

Fiskars.

Today I took them outside to trim the ornamental sage plant in the rose garden. Granted, that is not a normal scissor-related exercise.

So... I'm out there trying to cut through a 1/3" woody-stemmed perrenial... and SNAP - the blades separate in two. And, to my horror, I see...

...the connecting rivet was MADE OF PLASTIC

Not metal. The blades were pivoting on dead dinosaurs.

Damn you, China.

A bit of copy

I managed to slip this gem into a script last year:

One of the most vital institutions upon which a healthy society is based is the institution of marriage. There’s an old saying… “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” In a nation where sex is available everywhere… and in all kinds of perverted flavors… we’ve not just “gotten the milk for free,” we’ve given the cow AIDS!

Expense Report Follow-up

Accounting: "We'd still like proof on that $47.50 FedEx charge."

Response: